Transcript

VOX POP BEGINS

I am $28,000 dollars in debt.

I have at least $95,000 in student loan debt.

I'm paying off a law school debt of $183,000.

When I graduated law school, I had like a quarter million dollars in debt.

 I graduated at 26 years old as a dentist with $575,000, so more than half a million dollars in debt.

VOX POP ENDS

INTRODUCTION BEGINS

In Blood Debts, we tell the stories of choices and sacrifices to pay back what is owed and pay forward something of value.

I’m your host, Leezel Tanglao.

On this podcast, we talk about one of the few through lines in people’s lives - debt.

You’ll hear stories from the Filipino diaspora around how debt has impacted all aspects of life from those in the medical field, public service sector to creative arts.

As a journalist, I’ve spent more than a decade reporting on the financial aspects of debt in diverse communities.

But many carry debts beyond money.

In this episode, we look at how student loans affect a person's life when culture meets the debt crisis.

Listener discretion is advised.

People go to college to get an education, not to get into debt.

Unfortunately, the numbers are staggering when it comes to this student loan debt crisis. More than 44 million Americans collectively have $1.6 trillion dollars in student loan debt, according to the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System.

INTRODUCTION ENDS

My name is Samantha Tillapaugh and I am known as the Debtist, a blogger who writes about the lifestyle it built around paying back $575,000 of student debt.

 I went to the most expensive school dental school in the country at the time, and I did have a choice to go to a cheaper school in the middle of my education. But I decided not to switch schools or transfer based off of convenience.

LEEZEL TANGLAO: Like others in the podcast, cultural norms have played a role in some of the decisions Samantha and her family made when I was 18.

Like a typical Filipino, my mom insisted on throwing a traditional debut, which is essentially like a quinceañera but for Filipinos.

And I didn't want it because I was very introverted. I dreaded the thought of going up in front of everyone and performing dances and speeches, whatever else. But she insisted.

And so, like a good daughter, I went along with it. It was essentially a $10,000 birthday party. I kid you not. It was like a wedding. And so there's photographers, you know, videographers, two gowns, everything.

And it wasn't really like for me. And I don't even think it was for her. I think it was more like like a coming of age party that was more for our friends and relatives than it was for us.

My credit cards, which my mom had had access to or maxed out because she had used her account holder abilities to pay for both parties, but also for like general things for the family.

When you're 18 and your mom says, don't worry about it, it's very easy to just be like, OK, maybe there's something I don't know, maybe I shouldn't worry about it.

But eventually, at age 20, after continually getting those letters, I, I took the cards back and closed both accounts.

And with more than half a million dollars in student loan debt, here's how Samantha took back control of her life.

I think really the word I use when it comes to describing, like my relationship with it is fear.

And it was like a crippling type of fear.

So most of the time after I graduate, I felt like really guilty or caged. And I was convinced, like, I felt like the debt was enslaving me. You know what I mean? Like, financial freedom was the only thing that would allow me to live my life in peace.

There is this American dream that you chased, and I felt like I worked so hard for that American dream, only to find myself after all of that hard work.

That in a bigger hole than when I started. And it was almost like like I came here because I my parents hoped for more opportunity for me, an equal opportunity. But what ended up happening is I graduated from dental school with like an uneven playing field, like I was starting negative $575,000 from my peers, you know?

And despite having a profession that's more like esteemed, my starting line is just so far back from everybody else. I felt like, OK, after all that hard work. How does one catch up? And the fear was so bad.

I never like talked about this, but I think I think it's important to say the fear was so bad that I felt like legitimately desperate and depressed. And my husband can tell you there were like nights, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe. Lot of crying. Some days I would feel like physically dead. I'd I do nothing like on those days I did nothing at all.

And I'm so grateful that may see a few recognized how much pain I was going through. And I still remember that phone call really, really well because I felt like I was the phone call that saved my life. Like when he said, I think you can do this.

Before that, my husband, I were talking about going to psych therapy for me. You know, I would physically hurt myself because I was just like, so I don't know, like, yeah, enslaved.

I felt so, like, constricted. So when he when the CFA told me, I, I can attempt to pay it back aggressively. I totally became a different first person. Like I, I felt in control of my life.

And we were doing this like snowball method right, of getting rid of debt. And we got to a point where he noticed I was saving like $6,000 or $7,000 a month.

And initially he was like, ‘oh yeah, there's no way we could do this. But when I consistently did it for, like, three months, he was like, oh, my God. I think you can like with your, I guess, determination, I think you can actually pay it off in 10 years or less. And it seems like psychologically that might be what's best for you. Those are you saving the amount of money I would need to pay it off aggressively.’

So I just took that money that was going into a savings account and I just start paying off the debt. I was trying to pay it off in 10 years and I'm on track to pay it off in seven, which is crazy. So in four more years, it'll be paid off.

LEEZEL TANGLAO: And for Samantha, blood debts runs even deeper.

For me personally, blood debts is me debating about doing this podcast and every podcast that discusses my money.

Because I have that fear that the telling of my story would somehow hurt my family. Even though deep down I know it benefits so many more people. Which is why I always choose to tell it.

But in the back of my mind, blood is like that nagging feeling of like protect the family. Don't say anything that would make people think less of them and or hurt them.

And it's that Eastern culture mentality of like shouldering a family burden. I mean, we always say, like, blood is thicker than water.

And so in Filipino culture specifically, we are taught to feel like we owe the generations before us in exchange for the sacrifices that they made.

And I think it could be good. We're taught at an early age to act from a place of humility and gratitude. And because of this, it sets us up for acting for a place of selfless selflessness.

If you think about the stereotypical professions that we hold, it's, you know, caregiving, nursing, teaching, housekeeping medicine. And in this way, like blood, debts sets us up for contributing to the community and to the world. And with some of the most selfless jobs.

From birth, we're taught to protect a group of people we just happen to be born into. I think it sets us up for adulthood and makes us capable of helping people. We've only just met.

OUTRO BEGINS

There are many sides to debt.

This series intends to take you on a journey through defining and redefining debt through stories of Filipinos in the diaspora.

Upcoming stories from guests like Major General Antonio Taguba and rapper Ruby Ibarra are just a sampling of the journeys you’ll hear along the way.

That’s all for this episode, thank you for listening.

To find out more about the series and upcoming episodes and resources, visit Blooddebt.com

Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Blood Debts is produced and hosted by me Leezel Tanglao.

This series is a legacy project of the Filipino Young Leaders Program.

Shoutout to FYLPRO Batch 8.

This series is dedicated to all those who struggle to talk about uncomfortable issues and for all those who ever felt overlooked.

I see you.

I hear you.

OUTRO ENDS